Tumhari Ram aur Sita jaisi jodi ho: This is not a blessing. Ram did not do right by Sita, he abandoned her

I experienced an awakening during my recent visit to my Grandma. It was my first visit after marriage and as we were about to leave, I touched her feet. She blessed, saying, “tum dono ki Jodi Ram aur Sita jaisi ho.” I didn’t like being blessed that way. I hope my married life is far better than that of Sita’s.

Why would I wish for a husband who doubts my integrity, questions my words and is more concerned about the feelings of others than mine? My life partner and I are made for each other. We do not wish for any other kind of life.

ram, sita, ravana, ramayana, maryada purushottam, Ram aur Sita

To be like the ‘Ram aur Sita ki jodi’ would be a curse. At least, that’s how I personally feel.

After winning Sita back from the clutches of Ravan, things were never the same again for King Ram and his queen, Sita.

ram, sita, ravana, ramayana, maryada purushottam, Ram aur Sita

Is it righteous for a king to abandon a pregnant woman? Is it enshrined in Dharma Shastra? When the time came to live by the vows, to show faith in Sita, Ram did the expected. Influenced by the public perception that Sita’s modesty may have been compromised during her captivity in Lanka, Ram asked Sita to prove her innocence and purity by walking on fire. If she came out unscathed, she would be considered pure, but if she burnt, she is guilty.


Sita urged Ram to trust her, but the king was helpless at the hands of his followers. Sita was forced into proving her innocence, and she did.

Ram was always conscious about being seen as a king whose first priority was its people. He did everything to ensure people approved of him. He willingly abandoned his wife because people thought she was violated. Ram even neglected his mother and kingdom to prove what a law abiding king and son he was.

After the Agni-pariksha, Rama was convinced that Sita was untouched and unsullied. But by then, Sita’s heart had been broken. Ram had killed the relationship by doubting her. Sita didn’t want to stay among people who suspected her purity. Ram did not bother to stop Sita, scared that his people might find that as a sign of weakness. He stood and watched her pregnant wife, humiliated and violated by the very people who called her queen. Even though she passed the test, people didn’t stop doubting her.


Why didn’t Ram use his influence and power to change people’s mind? After all, he was convinced that his wife was pure. Convinced himself, he could have shown his people the light, the truth. But he remained a mute spectator while Sita dragged her feet out of his life. I believe Ram failed in his duties towards his wife, he treated her just like any other woman in his kingdom, he proved his lack of faith in her by forcing her to walk on fire. He didn’t stand by her in her moment of difficulty. Why should I hope for such a person? Ram doubted Sita’s chastity, he broke her heart. Sita endured for a long time in Ravan’s custody, she must have wished a million times for a reunion with Ram, she must have had sleepless nights, spent thinking about Ram, and only Ram.

Without any evidence, logic and regret, the society rebuked Sita for no fault of hers. In trying to be politically correct, Ram remained a silent spectator. He allowed Sita’s image to be ruined by people who had no clue about the reality. Ram was enlightened and wise, he could have used his position to return Sita her dignity, but he did not.

I am not denigrating Ram, I am simply pointing out certain chain of events that raise grave concerns.

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