Sex before marriage is a social taboo even today in India. Every man wants to fulfil his desires before marriage but expects his better half to be a “VIRGIN”.
Characters can’t be judged on the basis of virginity. Whenever virginity is talked about, it’s confined to women. If men are not bounded with terms, why should women be? And if women are, Men too should be!
Indian marriage concept needs a change. Marriage laws in India have change with time, child marriage in India is banned now also girls in India have changed.
We went across doing a survey asking “If you want a virgin groom?” amongst various girls and the replies we got were shocking…
Deepali said “ I would want my groom to be experienced enough, because if he does not know the moves, how in the world can he satisfy my desires. I can’t go back to the ABC basics to teach him know”
Surbhi said “As far as my personal interests are concerned, I simply don’t care whether my future hubby is a virgin or not. I am a firm believer in the concept which goes something like,
You may not be his first, but make sure, to be his last.
So, as long as my future husband doesn’t indulge in extramarital affairs behind my back, I don’t give a damn about his past. In case he is not happy with me, he is absolutely in the right to come out to me about it. I am pretty sporty, but please don’t go about my back. Also if the guy wants to have an extra marital affair even I will”
Sona said “Obviously not. We try a lot of dresses before we decide which one to buy. So, this dress has to be carried life long. We better test, try and then finalise.”
Tanya said “I do not care if my future hubby is a virgin or not. I just want him to be loyal to me after he is mine. This is all I want and I care about.”
Another girl Akansha states “I want him to be a virgin. I think it would be great to be each other’s first. But the only bad state being that I won’t be able to guess if he is a virgin, but he can.”
We too agree to Akansha’s statement and this is a moment of disgrace for all women. There should be something that can make sure and inform if a guy is experienced or not. Foreskin is not the answer.
Renick said “Yes, obviously. I am in India and in the society I stay, I have been brought up with this belief and it still persists in my head.”
Veshali said “ Why not. If boys can raise an objection even I can and I will if he ain’t a virgin.”
Looking at all the statements that we got from girls we questioned almost 60% don’t care while the rest 40% want their groom’s to be virgin.
Somewhere the boys reading this should be ashamed if they assume and want their bride to be a virgin. They want to do whatever they want but they won’t accept a girl if she has had sex earlier. This bullshit should not be taken girls.It’s the poor mentality of some Indian people and if women don’t expect the men to be virgin a boy shouldn’t either. In India men can do anything whatever they want but women can’t do it their way. But ultimately what sustains this dehumanized view of women as sexual and reproductive commodities is not how men reckon women. It is also how some women reckon themselves.
It’s 21st century, we should grow up. At a lot of places even today a white bed sheet is used at the first night to view if the girl’s hymen breaks and she bleeds or not.
Usually you achieve nothing by finding out the details of your spouse’s sex-life before he/she met you. That kind of probing is guaranteed to make any relationship worse.
We are living in a society that would ideally disapprove things like “making out”, “kissing a guy/girl”, “having sex” unless
1) You are married,
2) You are okay with being called a slut or
3) You are being physically abused.
You tell us girls, What is your take?